Will Smith Raps The Oscars

by demi adejuyigbe

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Three songs, as written and performed by "Will Smith" for the end credits of various 2017 Best Picture nominees.

• special thanks: johann johannsson, rupert gregson-williams, and nicholas britell, who wrote the original scores for the movies & whose melodies (and even just remixing the audio for arrival and moonlight) i used for these
• directors barry jenkins, denis villenueve, and mel gibson for making movies i earnestly enjoyed enough to want to satirize
• hrishikesh hirway's "song exploder" podcast, for having an interview with johhannsson that gave me the clips i needed, heh
• phantogram, i think i unintentionally ripped off their break beat from "howling at the moon" for hacksaw ridge
• independence day, for the "welcome to earth" sample
• boris gardiner, for the "every nigger is a star" sample
• will smith. you know what you did.

lyrics for each song, under each song. please don't @ me about the terrible vocals, like yeah some shit's gonna sound bad when an amateur records and mixes it at 4am

credits

released February 26, 2017

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demi adejuyigbe Los Angeles, California

here are some mashups and other things i made. please do not spend money on them

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Track Name: "Alien Arrival" - Will Smith's Rap from Arrival
Wham! Bam! Aliens crash land!
Just floatin’ on our turf, and we all like “Welcome to Earth!”
But ain’t no Men In Black to put us at ease
So the military’s goin’ for Professor Louise

And a physicist: here’s the gist for those two
Language-wise, they got a lotta splainin’ to do! (Lucy!)
Just like Lucy, cause you see, our contact is flawed
We don’t know how to talk to no heptapod

Louise sees that their speech is in parentheses
And she pleads to put the soldiers at ease
The general proceeds to booby trap the room
And as the aliens talk it all goes kaboom!

When things mellow, she meets with Costello
He tells her telepathically that Abbott isn’t well, yo
She’s having visions, and he says that they’re vital
They might just be the reason for their sudden arrival

[chorus]
A-li-ens
Crash landed, right on the planet
Are they here to help, are they here to attack?
We don't know what to do except to watch our backs!

A-li-ens
Trying to communicate
We do the best, for what it's worth
But we still gotta work to protect the Earth

Louise’s brain becomes an almanac
While the whole damn world is prepared to fight back
And to stop an attack, she calls a Chinese dude
Now this is the part where I got confused

His wife is dead, but she knows her last words?
Why’d they see the aliens and bring them a bird?
She has a second kid, Jeremy Renner is horny?
(Naw Prince, that’s her first kid, and Renner is corny

With his) "wanna make a baby?” Oh, so that was the twist
Ain’t a movie worse to fall asleep in than this
It should’ve been exciting, with some blood and bones
And guns, and more fun, and maybe Tommy Lee Jones

He could play a guy that maybe gives me a job
And we keep the world safe from an alien mob
Man, that could be a franchise worth two reprisals
yadda yadda yadda something something
Arrival!

A-li-ens
Crash landed, right on the planet
Are they here to help, are they here to attack?
(I was in a movie called Men In Black!)

A-li-ens
Trying to communicate
Louise sees the future, but we don't know how
(Three Men In Black films, in stores now!)
Track Name: "Hacksaw Rap" - Will Smith's Rap from Hacksaw Ridge
This is the story
Of a man from Virginia

He fought for his country
And for the lives of his fellow soldiers
Up on the Hacksaw Ridge

A man of strength
A man of faith
A man of courage

A man
named Desmond Doss

In Virginia, Desmond and his brother named Hal
Get in a row, Desmond’s like bam whapow!
He hits him with a brick and watches the blood spill
And from that day forth, he swears never to kill

As a man, he falls for a beautiful nurse
Things get better just before they get worse
The war broke out, and Doss enlisted
But if you think he’s fightin’, man you’re getting it twisted

He scales walls and falls, he stands tall, he crawls,
He’d make a damn good Spiderman y’all
They ask him to brawl but he won’t say yes
They offer him a gun but he still objects

Conscientiously, then eventually,
He gets jailed, court martialled, and suspended, see,
He’s beaten, but refuses to give up the man
And this all happens before they land, at

Haaaacksaw Riiiiidge
(Unh, unh, war is hell)
Haaaacksaw Riiiiidge
(You don't have to fight to serve your country well)

Okinawa! The troops are afraid but trying
bullets, body parts, and grenades are flying
And men are dying, then Doss arrives
The movie brings the horror of the war alive!

The Japanese come back to settle the score,
He prays “please lord, lemme just get one more”
We even watch him kick away a live grenade
Ya gotta love the guy that got this movie made!

I know it sounds crazy, but it's all the truth
You can Google it yourself if you're looking for proof
We even showed you that interview
Where the real guy says “it’s totally true"

It's made so well, they should give it an Oscar
And maybe stop callin’ Mel G a monster
(We gotta forgive him, all his wrongs are corrected!)
Yeah, Mel's good now- he even directed

Haaaacksaw Riiiiidge
(Cmon cmon, the past is the past!)
Haaaacksaw Riiiiidge
(We all get drunk and say racist things!)
Track Name: "Whoo!-light" - Will Smith's Rap from Moonlight
(Who will deny, that you and I, and every nigger is a star)

Whoo!
Ha ha, ha ha
Unh
Soaking up the Moonlight
Soaking up the Moonlight
Unh

Saturday night, with Jazzy and Jaden
We were gettin pretty bored, it was gettin pretty late and I said
"Let's go out and catch us a flick"
Collateral Beauty wasn't playin, so I let Jaden pick

He rolled up to the box office, talking polite
And said "Three for the 10pm showing of Moonlight"
“What’s that?” It sounded suspicious
But Jaden said it’s good, so I stayed to bear witness

We took our seats, and I watched in awe
As the movie played: “Every nigga, is a star”
I felt a tingling, right in my heart
To see a movie praising black folk right at the start

A hundred eleven minutes, 3 incredible acts
Tellin’ the tale of Chiron, Little, and Black
And Paula and Teresa, Kevin and Juan too
Who said “In moonlight, black boys look blue”

[chorus)
Soaking up the moonlight
(Love your fellow black folk, and love your man
Bring us all together, put us hand in hand)

Soaking up the moonlight
The blue in me

The movie ends and the lights arise
It’s no surprise- that we all got tears in our eyes
Even Jazzy Jeff started to sob:
“I never thought I’d cry over a beach handjob”

Just watchin’ a young black kid embrace a new guardian
Made me realize Miami isn’t all about partyin’
There’s kids who thought they never could, find love, in the hood
I’m not gay, but I thought it was real good

It felt like that was me, but I can’t relate,
Because I’m super duper wealthy and incredibly straight
My crew calls me black Macklemore,
Because I rap, and the gays got my full support

A beautiful story, but it’s not mine
Because I got a hot wife, but I am an ally
We thought about it for the rest of the night
Three very straight brothers, soakin’ up the moonlight

The blue in me


I love my wife!